On being Maxine-ish

I think Maxine is a widow. Every woman at some point thinks they can identify with her, but now that I'm a widow, I feel she speaks for me more even than when I was menopausal!
I've adopted this particular cartoon of Maxine as my persona on a site called Widow's Village.
I belong to groups within this site called "Widowed in 2012" and "Long Term Illness"(even though Gary's pancreatic cancer could not be called 'long term' IMO).  There's some good people on there, but some real flakes too.  After getting some questionable advice from these well intentioned widows, I decided to drop out of sight for awhile and just lurk.  There is a part of the site for blogging, but I didn't want to invite an audience of just widows to chance upon my posts.  Preaching to the choir, you know.

I was told by a 50-year-old widow at Gary's company who is now 18 months out from her husband's death, that she wishes she had written down her thoughts as she morphed into her new widowed life.  She thought of some insightful stuff, she told me.  Indeed, when I've read some of the blogs on Widowed Village by some of these new widows, I am amazed at how profound some of these yokels can be.  Some of them piss and moan about missing 'Billy', their biker dude man with no front teeth who was a forever recovering alcoholic and whom she watched die over the course of 10 unmarried years and 2 married years.  Abusive addicts can be lovable too, I am told.  When this same flighty female blogs, something happens as she nails down qualities within this person and why she felt honored and lucky to have shared a life with him. I picture her typing the poignant words as she draws on her cigarette through the empty gap in her front teeth.  (Just a minor encounter with Billy, but he said he was sorry.)

I learned something else from this site that the majority of people could not care less to know until it hits their life.  Males who lose their spouses are called widows, not widowers.  Apparently this is some recent terminology change. Why the change? I don't know.  But there are a few male widows on Widows Village.  They are quite popular and all the females are eager to 'friend' these guys.

Another insight I have learned: Female widows between the ages of 50-62 are more likely to go into poverty than any other group of women. This group does not qualify for Widow's benefits through Social Security until age 60(if they are unmarried) and of course they cannot get Medicare until age 65.  They are not hired by employers due to ageism and they have no access to any retirement income of their husbands without early withdrawal penalties. These women must try to find affordable medical insurance, because they lose it after they are removed from their husband's company plan.(Why oh why must our country be the only one which ties the ability to care for our bodies something that is tied to employment!?)

So, this is why I think Maxine is a widow.  She just turned 65, is finally able to get Medicare but she has the experience of surviving for the last 10 years hanging on by the skin of her teeth. She is now able to collect Social Security, but has had to eat for many years the Made in China canned pet food that she found at 99¢ Only store. No wonder she is, to put it mildly, feisty.