Zero to Sixty in Five.......months

Yeah, so I've been a slacker and have not been posting on the ol' blog here.  My mind is always turning with ideas of what to write, but I actually have such a plethora of thoughts, its hard to weed through them and pick the best flowers.

Remember how car maker ads would gush over the power of their engines and boast about how fast a particular model could go from a standstill to 60mph?  I never owned any such car that had the ability to leave skid marks.  Being a product of the oil embargo days when gas SKYROCKETED to 70 cents per gallon left me with gas mileage scars.  Therefore, I have forever been averse to owning or driving or even renting cars that have unnecessarily large engines and gas guzzling power.  You can have 'em.  Give me a Datsun or Toyota, or a Honda or a Fiat, I'm all about getting the best gas mileage I possibly can.

I am reminded of that zero to sixty mindset when it comes to my weight loss efforts.  Maybe I don't drive a fast car, but dammit, I'd better lose weight FAST, ok?  So far, I have been fortunate and have lost 61.5 pounds in five months.  No complaints?  Oh yes, I always find room for complaining. Its human nature, isn't it?

I have been obsessively following my new way of eating, exercising and living to the point of excluding just about every other thought.  It occupies my every waking moment and I know I dream about it too.  I am in love with information about eating healthy, hormones, metabolism, nutrition and organic, clean foods.

FOOD!!! I only eat FOOD now. 
Nothing processed, preserved, boxed, bagged or artificially sweetened.  Nothing sweetened period, actually.  I eat veggies like there is no drought in California.  I drink water like I live on an island. I do not eat at restaurants because I have no idea if they prepare the food to my standards, and besides, I still feel like going to a restaurant alone is just a downer anyway.

Having this obsession has led me deeper and deeper into the bowels of health and nutrition books. I workout 6 days a week.  Three of the days are spent with Dr. Jade Teta and his Metabolic Aftershock workout tapes.  I love you Jade!  This guy is the guru of the most current thought on how we got this way as a population and how we can get out of this fatty mess by understanding the hormonal imbalances that cause it.  His Aftershock workouts are quite literally superb at burning fat off the body.

Before you think I am collecting money from the Metabolic Aftershock people, just know I am not trying to sway anyone or say this is the holy grail to losing fat.  Well, I know that for me it is. 

I have been continuing my eating of protein both animal and vegetable, limiting fruits to a select few with low glycemic load values(like 1 cup of strawberries/day) and eating tons of veggies of all kinds, raw and cooked. 

I ran into my first wall this last week.  I stayed the same weight. This was the first time it has happened in 6 months.  I searched for reasons why.  There can be many.  First on my list is lack of sleep.  Four hours a night is just plain stupid aside from being inadequate.  Lack of sleep not only makes it harder to lose weight, it can kill you slowly or abruptly.

So I am turning over a new literal leaf and turning off my computer, tablet and TV by 8pm.  I hope this will be my ticket to get back on the success train.  I was getting to bed at 10:30 or 11:00pm and getting up at 3:30 to 4:00am to walk outside.  Well, HELL, the temps this time of year aren't that much different in the span of an hour.  So its 95 at 6:00am, what would it have been at 4:30am? 94. Big deal.

Keeping my head into the game means I read, read, and read some more about nutrition and the science of health and how I can make the right choices for my own best health. 
Although, the scale did not register a change in weight last week, the measuring tape yielded one more inch gone from my waist. This is more important than what a scale can tell me anyway I guess.  I have been able to get into my small clothes, but there are still more waiting to be worn in size 4 and 2's.

Must.Be.Happy.With.Where.I.Am.Today.

I look forward to changes in my mirror tomorrow, though.

For my husband on our 38th anniversary

My sister recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.  I remember it, because I was there, her bridesmaid.  I saw all the congratulations on facebook and I got very jealous. I have way less card worthy days that people remember, namely Gary's birthday and our anniversary on July 12.

When Gary and I were married on July 12, 1975, one of the solos sung was Time In A Bottle.  I still like that song because it makes me think like the 18 year old I was then.  I believed in a forever with Gary.  I guess I actually got that now that I think about it.  Our relationship will last forever, even though our marriage no longer does.

Of course I feel Gary's loss more on important days like our anniversary.  I still often catch myself thinking that its not fair. Why can't WE have a 40th anniversary to look forward to?

When I began my career with Northwestern Bell, I just knew that I would hang in there until the end, ie; retirement.  I believed that all women should work and earn enough money so that if need be, they could support themselves and not rely on a man.  I kept that mindset for the tough years when our kids were young and I continued up the wage scale in my many jobs with the phone company and in the directory advertising business. I refused to be a victim. I would not be one of "those" women who were left with nothing when their husbands took off.  My rule: NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.

I still do believe that nothing lasts forever.  And the reason is, because it can't.  The world and how it affects us changes us and causes changes to our lives. Coincidental things add up to major changes like one person getting a death sentence before his time and causing the end of a life together.
That's the way it is. I still hate it.

I found this song that really expresses the way I felt for about the first 16 months of my life after Gary died.  I can't say I'm beyond the feelings of the song, but I have been able to have many more days when I feel only gratitude for having had Gary while I did, and not so much the sadness of his death as I get used to no longer having him here.

This song is for Gary. It is a beautiful song.  I hope you will take the time to listen and follow along.  And I wish that none of you will ever have to feel like this due to losing your bestest friend and lover.

Somebody That I Used to Know

MEN are a lot of work.  Getting to know them is very stressful.  Women have to work very hard- TOO hard in my thinking to impress them, please them and keep them around.  I will admit that I kinda slid into complacency as a married woman.  Shave your pits and legs once a week- hey, that should be good enough for the mister shouldn't it?  Besides the center of the bed only gets warmed up a couple times a week anyway.  And aren't socks made to be worn to bed?

Not so fast, dearie. The single woman does not get to play by those rules anymore.
So here I am. I don't have the luxury of having a decent guy safely in the palm of my hand, so I've been dealing with a person of interest who is very UN reciprocal to my efforts to whip myself into shape to please him.
Jeez! This should not be a one way street, should it? Why don't *I* get to control this part of my life? Ask another woman, especially one was once but now no longer married, and they'll say, "Listen, you need to know enough to say Enough!"

Actually to this 'sometime lover' I have said, "Enough!"  Some men appear to be rather dense and don't get it though.  Arguing via texts is so not how I want to spend my time while I'm shopping at Target.  Making ultimatums via texts has proven pointless too.  Unlike hearing a voice, a human will scan a text and pick out what his mind thinks is most important and disregard the rest.  I guess this is how Mr. Text operates.

For his part, he is tenacious, so I'll give him that.  He is like all men, consistently on the same track. However, its not the third rail that I'd like to throw him on though.  He thinks that all he has to do is show up with a fresh stick of gum in his mouth and that should be good enough. Oh yeah, baby!

Meanwhile, I've spent a lot of money and put a great deal of time into my appearance- but that's how its supposed to be, so there is no mention of anything about it.

Oh hell, I need to listen to my female friends and wise up. Quit caving and answering his messages.  Three of my friends are divorced and all tell me the same thing- you will happen upon a man who is worth it when you are not looking. Hmmmm... but that's exactly how I landed this fish on my boat!  When I decide to quit putting my life on hold, I will start up the troller and see what is really out there.  There's gotta be a secret spot on this lake that holds all the 'keepers'.  And now, I've really got to do something about that carp- he's just somebody that I used to know.