I read and listen to some insights from people who have what I think are worthwhile ideas.
A common thread that I read from blogs and emails from these people is the act of gratefulness in ones own life. The stem cell of kindness, thoughtfulness and generosity toward oneself and toward others starts with gratefulness. Gratefulness begets a feeling of wellbeing and is the seed that leads to a happier existence.
Isn't a happy existence kind of what we all strive for from the time that we enter adulthood?
Happiness or fulfillment is what drives us to choose a mate, our occupations, and our place to live in the world.
I have to admit I am quite happy. But this Happy Thing is a practice that I need to keep working at.
One way is by Three Things.
Three Things is a daily exercise that we could all be doing, not as a drudgery or obligation, but as a Joie de vivre for ourselves and ultimately for others.
What is Three Things? Its simply thinking of and writing down three things that you are thankful for in your life. Every day, preferably in the morning you think of the best of your days, your life, your people etc. Every day you write these three things down because you cannot reuse them. Each day is a new opportunity to stretch and think of the three best whatevers that you are most grateful to have or be a part of.
I am a newbie at this but it is becoming a habit. It really does help banish negativity and helps give a new perspective of your lucky little self.
I am told that this simple act radiates out toward others in a positive way. I can't attest to this yet, but I am hopeful. Showing kindness is a good thing. Being positive is a good thing. But not just in the old platitude of 'think positive'. Thankfulness helps you see the good parts of yourself and others. You do really start to see just how lucky you are to be the person you are and to have the people and things you have.
Try Three Things every morning for awhile. What have you got to lose? One bad attitude?
Isn't life funny?
We wake up each morning and we think we have it all figured out.
Like who we will spend our lives with, how we will spend our time, how we will live and act; all according to plan, right?
Then we are thrown a curve and we enter a new life. One in which the playbook that worked so well before doesn't work anymore.
So... Maybe we only live life twice.
This is certainly the second go round in my existence.
That was brought home to me this weekend when hubster was 'stricken' with the same cold that I succomed to last week. Except I had the woman's version of a cold. Treat the headache, sore throat, and suck on Cold Eze to make the symptoms last for as short a time as possible. Get up, get dressed, get out and pretend you are not sick. Yep, that's the way we females do it.
For his part, hubby was sympathetic for my ailments but nothing else changed.
Flash forward one week to the day. "Ohhhhhh. >ahem< I have a sore throat". It snowballs from there to a full blown cold a la my cold, but this time its the MAN version.
The man version of this cold means all outings stop. No unnecessary movement (aka work) is performed. Shoes are no longer worn as only slippers are needed. I am the proud mama of a retired man-baby.
Yes, my Deere did warn me how he would act when the stray illness came around and I did play into it all willingly. My new baby soaked up the attention I gave him. I administered the cold remedies, kept lozenges, kleenex, ice water within easy reach should he need them. I gave him snacks, tea, hot chocolate and I put up with his grizzled old man look and the awful sounds of him blowing green snot into lotion tissues. I made homemade chicken soup and fed him breakfast in bed. Day two of The Cold had my baby on the couch under a blanket with his head on a bed pillow watching his extensive collection of James Bond movies. This guy came with a plethora of movies of all kinds- one of the nice bonuses. He had told me that when he gets sick or colds he watches James Bond even though he has seen each of the movies many times. This day he chose You Only Live Twice. I had not seen it in its entirety so it was entertaining for me and a sleeping pill for him. Neither of us left the house.
Day three of The Cold began with breakfast in bed for the cold victim, followed by a movie called Unbroken(really good, btw), a new round of cold medications and then a day of football watching while covered with the wool throw. My baby stirred only to use the bathroom.
I had to get away for a walk and I took Robbie outside in the pleasant 70 degree day. We both had cabin fever. While out walking I reflected on the differences between this life I live now compared to the old life I had just a year ago.
There are advantages and there are disadvantages in Life I and Life II. There are still sooo many times when I notice I compare this man to the man of my old life. Just for example, Gary would not have been as likely to lie around if he were sick. And I would never have waited on him for just a cold as I do my new husband. Every day I come to grips with the fact that I will never again have a person like I did and I also think I'll always be jolted by that fact.
I have to reinvent my life every morning now. I have to make choices on how I want to live and how I want to act. Its hard to think like a married person again. I want some of the single woman lifestyle I used to enjoy. Like having to make food that pleased only me and helped me lose 84lbs. Now with another person and a totally different metabolism to think about, it is a challenge I haven't figured out how to conquer yet.
There is also joy and fun and anticipation in me when I think of my future -our future- though. That's what keeps me going and looking forward to a good year of a new and improved life to live. I know I am lucky and I am reminded of this all the time.
Now if you will excuse me, I have someone I care very much about to get to bed.
