Our Last Christmas Together

San Clemente Beach and Pier at Sunset

On Christmas 2011 Gary and I made the drive down to San Clemente to stay in a condo I reserved using our last timeshare from RCI. We had stayed there before a few years back.  I tried to get into Coronado, but could not.  This is a nice place though.
At this time, Gary was trying to figure out what caused his health issues. He still could not eat normally so I packed more food than usual to entice him to eat more.

The San Clemente Trail connecting the beaches and train station.

Gary was also wrestling with a decision on whether to move to Chicago to take the manager's job there.  I was totally against it, and he knew that.
Still, its such an honor to be considered for such a large branch that he couldn't just say no without a good reason.  He tried stalling them all through the mess in the hospital at Thanksgiving and through the beginning of December as he continued to lose weight.
He told them he would give them his decision when the doctors could tell him what was wrong with him.

The pier as seen from a small terrace area. Restaurant is on pier.

We didn't do much the four days we were in San Clemente. We drove up to Dana Point one day to where Gary and Forrest had gone years earlier on a deep sea fishing boat trip. We went to a large Ace Hardware and picked up the odd handle we needed for our patio door in Mentone that we had never seen anywhere else. We went to Target and looked for jeans and a belt for Gary for his smaller waist.  How I hate to think now that I was ACCOMMODATING that f*cking cancer that was eating him alive.

We stayed in the condos on the left.. Ours had a peek-a-boo ocean view.

We were returning to the condo in the truck when Gary got another call from his boss.  They wanted to talk about the Chicago move.  Gary and I had discussed how he just had to tell them he could not take it if he needed more medical care.  (At this point we were told Gary had liver disease.)

It was a gorgeous December afternoon as we sat outside and Gary talked to Brian.  The waves crashed to shore about 200 feet from where we sat. Surfers bobbed in the water waiting for the perfect wave and tourists, enjoying the sun, walked down the hill to the beach and shops and restaurants.

Gary was so regretful that he had to turn down that job. What would he have done though if he had another bleeding episode? Then again, maybe if he had, he would have had a different outcome had he been seen by doctors in Chicago.  I would not have been able to be there though if I would have had to stay behind and sell the house.  In hindsight, I still don't know what the right thing was, and what does it matter.  Gary would say "Don't look back. Look forward." but even he felt awful to have to tell them to give the position to someone else.

You can never know when the last time you see or do something is.  We all really need to look around and hear and smell and really experience life.  I think about that week in San Clemente now and remember the evenings Gary and I went to the pier restaurant for happy hour specials.  We sat outside and ate our fish or tacos watching as the sun sank from view; setting on our ocean, our world, and our life together.