1. the ordinary form of spoken or written language, without metrical structure, as distinguished from poetry or verse.
2. matter-of-fact, commonplace, or dull expression, quality, discourse, etc.
I always enjoyed writing when I was a student. I also like some poetry. So if it makes sense, in addition to others' poetry, I've added some of my own to this blog, as in the entry titled, Scrapbook. But for the most part, I think this blog and my writing in it would have to be more like the second definition of Prose seen above. This entry is an example of that.
For as long as I can remember, whenever I have had to make a decision, I picture in my mind a scale. The kind I envision is the kind seen a lot on dining room tables in the 60's. Brass, with chains and usually filled with plastic grapes, both red and green that invariably needed dustin
So my mind picture of the scales, sans grapes, would be equal on each side when empty, but as I start placing the elements of the pro and the con items on each side of my decision, soon the side of the scale with the most items would drop to the bottom and the other lighter side would pop up.
The best way to 'fill' each side of the question put to me was to make a list. I'm guessing that most people do it this way. The most recent time I used this method was December 2011 for, at the time, the question of Gary taking a job in Chicago. Even if Gary had ended up with some treatable illness, it still did not make financial sense to move there after I got done researching all the costs and variables of moving and cost of living versus income.
Now I am thinking about moving again. I am not to the point where I am making my list, because I have time to make this decision. But in the past, when it came to moving, it seems to always have been me who initiated it. I always said that when the carpet started getting dirty, it was time to move. Usually that meant moving every two years.
I haven't been writing as prolifically on this blog the past couple of weeks because I've been writing and rewriting my resume to submit for each one of the various jobs I think I'd like. I got some basic resume writing ideas from someone who is younger and who just can't understand why an elderly 55 year-old like me is not getting calls for interviews. I go to the stores where I've applied and make a mental note of the employees who have been recently hired. They all seem to be in their early 20's. You can't prove ageism, but this smacks of it.
So for the jobs I applied for that I know I am qualified to do, my decision to work has been made for me.
Is it fate? Maybe. I planned to just work until I went up to Sioux Falls in the spring anyway. Do these employers sense my lack of long term commitment? I was only applying for part time, seasonal, temp jobs that pay minimum wage and no benefits. Who'd have guessed these jobs are attracting so many applicants, but it appears that they are.
I think about my situation and how it would be nice to have extra money, but the way I have decided to live allows me to exist on what I can safely withdraw from our investments. Does it allow extravagances? No Way! But that is not part of my plan anyway.
Also in the back of my head sits the decision of moving away from Arizona when my two years is up here, July 2014. My unwritten mental list has some pros for staying. My wants for a different life elsewhere keep getting erased and rewritten. Nothing has made it to the scales to be weighed yet.
As for getting a job here or elsewhere, I am getting advice from people my age that I shouldn't feel obligated to work if I can afford to live without earned wages. One person told me I shouldn't care what people think. Younger people are saying I'm lazy and I HAVE to get a job. But I seem to be in the wrong place or the wrong age to do that. I feel guilty for doing what I feel I need to do right now, which is working to slowly finish the house the way Gary and I wanted it and going to grief counseling sessions and classes.
I wish I could say, as Scarlett O'Hara did, "Oh fiddle dee dee, I'll think about that tomorrow".
No comments:
Post a Comment