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| You've probably seen this one circulating around facebook or the internet.I like that Grinch because, these days, we think a lot alike! |
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Valentines Day wasn't a super big event for Gary and me in recent years. Too much hype to buy stuff. Neither of us bothered with gifts except for the first 10 or so years of our relationship. And going out to a restaurant? Fagetabahdit! Crowds, to me, are not romantic in the least.
My first Valentines Day with Gary was my favorite. Gary gave me a very special gift of a sterling silver Swank chain bracelet that had the male/female symbols on it. I loved that bracelet and wore it a lot. I lost it about three years later when I was working at the state fair for Northwestern Bell. I'm sure it was left at the house we stayed at in Huron. Bummer. I really miss that bracelet and obviously still think about it today.
Valentines Day afterward meant cards, candy and the odd small gift. I've still got a couple of the cards, but regret all those that I tossed. The same goes for all the birthday cards I threw out. Again- bummer. I wish I had kept more of them, but am glad for the ones I still have.
One of the Valentines cards that I did keep was one from me to Gary. Its very ironic to me when I look at the card today after Gary is gone. It is solid white, and the front has a small black line drawing of a little character with a devilish smile, peeking out from behind a tree.. He is holding the only colored object on the card, a bright red heart. The wording on the front reads, "Being my Valentine won't kill you..." Then inside, "Only the good die young!" I signed it simply, Love, Marsha. Cute at the time, but not very uplifting for me to read now.
I think the last year either Gary or I bought Valentine cards for each other was 2011. On some 'card occasions' Gary would surprise me by taking the trouble to stop and buy a card when I did not get one for him. Those were the cards that SHOULD have been kept for me to treasure in these years without Gary.
A month ago, I decorated the outside of my house for Valentines Day much like I did last year at our house in Mentone. Red geraniums in planters, little hearts stuck inside plants and two heart filled flags flapping in breeze. The red heart shaped wreath hanging on the front door along with all the other pink and red accents makes the yard look merry and fun. I had most of the decorations already, so I put them out just like all the other years when I still had a love who shared my heart.
I don't think Thursday the 14th will be more difficult than any other day without Gary has been for me. Since I never go out to eat, I won't be confronted with all the loving couples out there. Gary's last Valentine's Day of his life was full of worry about him losing weight, having liver disease and diabetes. His once mandatory trek to all the stores to buy half priced Valentine's candy on the 15th, was dampened by the uncertainty that he could even eat it or that it would make him feel sicker than he felt when he ate 'good food'.
Last year, our house's festive, hearty decor outside belied the foreboding feelings in our real hearts that something was very very wrong with Gary. They say, 'Trust your heart to lead the way'. I sure wish our hearts had been able to help us out more than they did.
♥ Happy Valentine's Day Sweet Gary ♥
Love Always,
Marsha
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