So we brought our mom out and we all stayed at a nice resort for 4 days. My niece, her husband and 1 year old son joined us. It was busy and yet we managed to get mom to most of the sights and gather each evening for meals and drinks. We went to a restaurant and had some great food and I even ate 3 bites of dessert- my first sweets in 9 months. And when I jumped on the scale this morning I could barely believe my eyes. I lost another 2.5 pounds! I felt great on my walk this morning in part because of my surprising fat loss, but also because I just feel more positive in the mornings. Especially these cool mornings when its long sleeve t-shirt weather. Shorts will still work if I wait until the sun is up to go out. I talked to mom this morning on my walk, and despite the weather up there, she sounded upbeat too. Last Saturday morning when I dropped mom off at the airport, she said thank you to me and that last week was, "the best birthday ever". I'm glad, because I don't think there will be another like this. Things happen as we all know. We are humans and our time here is fleeting.
This fact hit home to me today when I opened my email and read about a beautiful woman that Gary and I knew from our Parkinson's support group in California. She was so sweet to us and I have often thought about her. I friended her on facebook after Gary died and she wrote me a couple of times, but I had not heard from her in quite awhile.
Today I found out she passed away from cancer on October 15. That was two days shy of Gary's death anniversary. I even remember what I was doing that day, because I was dreading the 17th and anticipating my feelings. Our dear friend fought the same Parkinson's battles that Gary did while working and was a very positive influence on both Gary and me. For both of them to have died too young because of cancer is just not fair. I know I overuse the fairness argument, but I am out of other feelings about death due to cancer. I hate it. It just sends me back to an ugly dark pit of despondency. I can feel the same old feelings I experienced with Gary's passing. It is haunting and I thought I was 'done' with that. Not to be. That's life. That's death. And right now, that's why I am very very sad all over again.
How could I have forgotten that no matter how we think we can fly, we are still tethered to the ground? The ground is metaphorically our family, our life, our past and our futures, our humanity and our souls. The ground is also death.
Like the old saying, 'you can run, but you cannot hide.' That's sure true about death, ain't it. I am painfully reminded that every day is a gift.
I am going to try to get over to our friend's memorial in a couple of weeks. It will be the first memorial service I have attended since Gary's. It was bound to happen. There will be more, but maybe none as hard as this one will be.
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