Just Numb3rs

For someone who hates numbers and math, I am quite obsessed about them.
Every thought, every where I turn, my day, week, month, year and life is all about numbers.

We count everything, don't we? We should count how many chews we should make before swallowing. We count calories, we count fat grams, protein grams, carbs, net carbs and fiber our bodies take in in a meal and for the day and week.

I watch the numbers fluttering by on the scale as it settles down to what I weigh that moment.  The scale is less forgiving than Judge Judy in the numbers verdicts it hands down. I see the numbers on the tape measure around my waist and record them every 2(another number) weeks.

I mark the calendar with my numbers to mark the days, months, year.  I workout to numbers listening hard for the number of the sets and minutes that I have completed and for how many I have left to go.

I look at people and guestimate their age, and weight.  I put a number value on their appearance as I watch them stroll past me with food plates piled high on their 4th trip through the desert bar at the buffet.

I've been told by someone who was 20 years younger than me, "Age is just a number."  I was also told by someone who is 20 years older than me, "Age is just a number."  But it is more than that to me. It is an emotion when someone is too far removed from my age related experiences that they are not tuned into the same things as me.  Age numbers do matter in relationships.

A newer revelation to me is that actually, weight IS just a number.  Reaching the magic number on the scale's readout is an amazing feeling followed by the immediate thought of,  'Now, what's my next task- keeping that number on the scale from ever changing?'  The answer I already know is way more subjective and I think, as I look at myself in the mirror, 'hmmm  maybe I don't want to stay at this number if this is how I look.'

The satisfaction goal of reaching my number has been met.  The satisfaction goal of living with myself will probably move. 

And that, dear readers, is something that Sesame Street could never teach us to count.