Today I am filled with gratitude and ease. I have the peace of mind of knowing that my forever is here. I am so pleased and proud of my new husband. Thankful doesn't begin to describe how I feel about what he has brought to my life- make that OUR LIFE.
I married a beautiful soul on July 22 in front of a judge and 4 friends. It was the perfect fit for us to do it this way. No huge cost or arrangements that could fall into catastrophe. I found a nice dress off the sale rack, we shopped for JZ's shirt and tie and found the perfect colors. I made my own bridal bouquet and his boutonniere from Austria Maria flowers in the perfect color plucked from a bucket at Wal-Mart. Simple. Perfect.
JZ and I have spent so much time together in the last three months, I feel I know him better than when I took the leap of faith and married Gary at age 18. I know JZ better and JZ also knows me. Because at our ages, there is no facade we need to pierce, no secrets worth keeping from each other. I have no fear of him knowing the deepest feelings I have and I feel I can tell him everything and anything. He is open and answers all my questions. I love this man in more ways than I thought possible. And he keeps surprising me with more ways to love him.
We just plain fit. Physically, its wonderful. Even our childhood memories meld well because our geographical references are close. I don't find anything 'foreign' about his philosophies or the way he was brought up. JZ is solid, mature, oh so practical and proud of his accomplishments including where he came from and who he is. He's purposefully articulate, never vulgar, never condescending or belittling to me or anyone.
Its kind of cliche, but I really do feel like I've known him for a lonnnngggg time. I've been waiting for him for longer than I knew. But he's here and we found each other and we chose each other.
He likes mayonnaise, old school country music, plays and musicals, the color blue(it matches his eyes),game shows, ice cream, and getting up early in the morning. He drinks regular coffee, black; two- only two mugs a day. He doesn't like sushi, olives or most wine and beer. He loves Hawaii. He is not presumptuous in any way. He listens and thinks before he speaks. He smiles a lot. I can even see him smiling in the dark sometimes. He is what the word sweet embodies. He is messy and acknowledges this, but this means he is also more relaxed than I am about perfection in housekeeping. He requires me to be patient. This is the best part of all, because when he does speak, he never lies, exaggerates or inflates his own ego. He reads historical novels. He has so much knowledge of movies that I am lost when he refers to most of them. Gary and I never saw a fraction of the movies he has seen in his lifetime. But now I can catch up, because we have forever. Together.
No one but a widower or widow can understand what connection we who lose our partners feel when we happen across that one other person searching for a new life partner. It is just special.
Don't think we don't feel and see the doubt in others' eyes when they find out we married so soon after meeting. We explain that the countless hours we have been together as retirees are different than the small segments of time that make up the traditional courtship. Yes, JZ was expecting to spend time with some toads before he found his princess. I too thought, after the toads I had picked up and thrown back into the weeds, that I'd be looking for another two years myself. What we have just doesn't happen- and yet it did!
JZ is adamant about remaining anonymous and I respect his choice to have no pictures posted on facebook or anywhere else on the internet. For that same reason, his name will be just his initials and my new last name will not be used when I can help it.
We're beginning our new life in what was my house and he is readying his former home for sale. So many details remain to be ironed out financially for our road map to be realized, but we are on the way to making travel and fun a priority. It takes an incredible amount of effort on both our parts to figure out each others' likes and dislikes, schedules and quirks. Breaking down the duties of our marriage partnership is tough in a lot of ways; possibly more for me than him since I was alone longer and developed a way of going through my days doing what I wanted in the way I wanted.
JZ and I plan to stay in this area for the time being. He is wiring the garage right now so he can move his woodworking tools and work space over to this garage. He is anxious to resume his woodworking hobby in between indulging his biking and our hikes together. We have good neighbors and friends here and I am very comfortable in my 'hood.
Life is good. Love is better. The best is yet to come.
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