Remembering Tastefully

Have you ever watched the show on A&E network called Hoarders- Buried Alive?  Whacko people with a heap o' problems and an even bigger heap o' JUNK get help to let go and begin to straighten out their messed up lives and homes. I remember one episode where a daughter scaled a mountain of junk in the extra bedroom of her dad's house to the closet. She opened the door and hanging inside were 6 dresses that were her mother's.  Her mother had passed away 30 years earlier though.  Her dad just could not part with those dresses and the memories they held for him.

Now, have you ever noticed those roadside memorials on just about every highway in the US? My first impression is always, "Oh My God, what an eyesore that is!"  I think Dollar Tree must have dreamed up this custom so they'd have a steady market to sell their fake flowers to!  What kind of person DOES this crap?

Now I know what kind of person does this and what kind of person holds on to the clothes and personal items of someone they loved who died.

When Gary died, I remember telling my daughter-in-law that I would be getting rid of Gary's clothes immediately when I got home.  I wasn't going to be one of those crazy nutjob widows who hang onto their dead spouse's clothes forever! So yeah, I got home, and I took a huge load of all the clothes and shoes to Goodwill.  I did save some of Gary's nicer polo work shirts in case a relative would want them.  I already regret giving away all Gary's t-shirts though. They were wearable postcards of all the places we have been. I found out you can make a quilt of t-shirts.  It would have been so neat to have a quilt to cover up with that was so emblematic of Gary.

Shrines to loved ones are pretty common from what I read on the widow's website.  People put a few little things such as locks of hair, a keychain, coffee mug-- whatever is very personal from that person on a shelf alongside a candle and the picture of that person.

I have some items that I was very surprised to get that I would like to use in a shrine of sorts for Gary.
My mother-in-law kept some artwork and papers that Gary made in 1st and 2nd grades.  To go through these now and see how nice 'little' Gary's work was, is so fun!  There are lots of pictures made at Christmastime,  and stories that he wrote in perfectly printed letters about his brother and sisters. I found one especially nice paper angel that he colored.  It is stapled into a circle so it stands. I have this little angel out as a Christmas decoration since I have no other decorations out this year. (see past blog titled 'Two-Fer")

I've decided Gary's 'shrine' will be in the curio cabinet Gary made for me when we were still living in an apartment in Sioux Falls.  He built it from a pattern from a woodworking magazine he subscribed to and it turned out pretty nice. I had no room in this little house to put it, but I've thought of a way to make room by moving some storage boxes out to the garage so the curio can come in.
I have enough 'stuff' to put inside it and display tastefully without resorting to buying silk flowers from Dollar Tree or displaying old polo shirts inside. Of course some of Gary's artwork will go in there too.

I don't want to get too flaky about the whole thing so I won't be sitting cross-legged on the floor chanting oohmmmmm in front of it.  But I think it'll be nice to have a 'remembering place' in the office where I sit and write these blogs.
I am thankful to my mother-in-law who saved those papers from her little boy whom I never knew until he was grown up. It puts some pieces of a life puzzle together to make it whole.

And Gary's shirts still hanging in the closet?  I've got so much space in there that I don't use now, so it would look empty without them.  Maybe in 30 years(?)  Just don't send a camera crew from A&E over please.