I was in Sioux Falls with Gary and raising the fam, I was almost continuously on Weight Watchers. About the fourth time, I achieved lifetime status after maintaining my weight loss goal for six weeks. That meant that I never again have to pay a joining fee if I go back to Weight Watchers. And go back I did, probably another six times. I am a pro at WW! If you've ever gone to a WW meeting you know that the leader can make or break your experience and success. There have been some yawners for sure but one leader I liked used the term "Empty Calories" and it has stuck with me ever since.
You don't have to be a perpetual dieter like me to guess that 'empty calories' means foods that have no nutritional value to them. The calories they contain are sugars only with nothing that the body can use to build or maintain good function.
Well, I made the mistake of telling this to Gary once upon a time and he latched onto it. If he saw me eating a Hostess Ho Ho or any variety of sweets, he would scold me in a sing-song voice saying, "EMp-tee-CAL-er-REEs!" A few months of this and I was ready to stuff a Twinkie in his face. I finally told him, "What I eat is off limits to your comments and opinion." Gary could take a hint, and he never said it again.
When I now weigh the same 'nutritional value' in a person I hope to have a relationship with, I have to look at him and judge him without the benefit of a label. Will this person ADD to my quality of life or will he or his actions suck me dry and leave me bereft? Will I hear and listen to a lot of empty promises which, just like empty calories, leave me with nothing but the aftermath of his sugar high lies?
There is no solution but to take a nibble and use the 'everything in moderation' rule. Listen as he tells you his sorrows, pains, his life story, his family dynamics, his past loves, his dreams, hopes, desires. He will spill his guts to you in the first 72 hours of meeting him. Men do like to talk!
Here's what I'm thinkin'. I will ponder what he tells me. If he doesn't make too many future happy predictions; if he is adverse to promises in general, and if he answers my many questions by saying, "Honestly, I don't know!" then I will follow his lead on the trail to the future. I do still want to trust in the goodness of people until they do not deserve my trust.
My new man exudes quality in every way. I can see the loyalty, fidelity, and honesty that his parents put into making him a good man. I want to believe the vibes he sends that he is one of the Good Guys. So far, there is nothing empty about the promises he is willing to make at this point in the infancy of our relationship.
One more interesting point, this man is on Weight Watchers! Nearing his goal weight, he knows what perseverance means when it comes to food, eating, and even in living his life. I can only wish for him to persevere in leading us both to the place where nothing is empty and life is a journey of meaningful bites of sustainable experiences. That's the kind of relationship I'd pay to get a seat at the table of. Wouldn't we all!
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